Why is it that we can feel that our self esteem decreases as we grow older? When I was around eight or nine, I made a plaque that said “Curls are the Best”. I gave it to my grandmother for Christmas. She had it hanging in her bedroom for the next 20 or more years. It was a piece of a confident, artsy, spunky me. When she died I found it among her things. My first thought was, “This childish thing…” then I held it and thought, “my grandmother kept this part of me…” I offered her me for Christmas that year, just me – and she kept me close to her all those years. I took the plaque and put it up in my bedroom, by my mirror. When I look at it reminds me of the essence of me, confident, happy, accepting, ready to go out into the world, and the future ahead of me. It also redirects me – away from feeling down, or scared, or nervous about being just me…from the time the world and experiences have squished me down. I tell myself, “remember that glee of a little girl, offering just herself and that was enough.” I remember even making that plaque, rolling out the clay, doodling a face, using a spring to make indents for the crazy, curly hair and then writing the declaration that curls are the best. I remember wrapping the plaque up and putting it under the tree. I remember my grandmother opening it up, and saying it was lovely, she was happy to have a part of me. I remember her giving it a special place in her bedroom. Now I have it, it is a place holder to me, to remember the best of me, that self esteem and inner joy that I had and still can have.
I am now in a time in my life where I can explore what is next in my life, how will I build on my self esteem and inner joy. How will I find meaningful work and still offer myself confidently to the world. The next thing is to take confident steps towards my future. I can only be me, curls and all.
P.S. All hair types are fine, you only need to be comfortable with yourself, and you are the best you.