Self Esteem

Why is it that we can feel that our self esteem decreases as we grow older?  When I was around eight or nine,  I made a plaque that said “Curls are the Best”.  I gave it to my grandmother for Christmas.  She had it hanging in her bedroom for the next 20 or more years.  It was a piece of a confident, artsy, spunky me.  When she died I found it among her things.  My first thought was, “This childish thing…” then I held it and thought, “my grandmother kept this part of me…”  I offered her me for Christmas that year, just me – and she kept me close to her all those years.  I took the plaque and put it up in my bedroom, by my mirror.  When I look at it reminds me of the essence of me, confident, happy, accepting, ready to go out into the world, and the future ahead of me.  It also redirects me – away from feeling down, or scared, or nervous about being just me…from the time the world and experiences have squished me down.  I tell myself, “remember that glee of a little girl, offering just herself and that was enough.”  I remember even making that plaque, rolling out the clay, doodling a face, using a spring to make indents for the crazy, curly hair and then writing the declaration that curls are the best.   I remember wrapping the plaque up and putting it under the tree.  I remember my grandmother opening it up, and saying it was lovely, she was happy to have a part of me.  I remember her giving it a special place in her bedroom.  Now I have it, it is a place holder to me, to remember the best of me, that self esteem and inner joy that I had and still can have. 

                I am now in a  time in my life where I can explore what is next in my life, how will I build on my self esteem and inner joy.  How will I find meaningful work and still offer myself confidently to the world.  The next thing is to take confident steps towards my future.  I can only be me, curls and all.

P.S. All hair types are fine, you only need to be comfortable with yourself, and you are the best you.