#2 Fear/Apprehension

Fear/Apprehension

I have just begun to work with a new spiritual director/coach.(Heather Plett www.heatherplett.com - She is really helpful, right from the start)  I has been hard to decide how to live my life since cancer.  I am happy it is all over but I don't know what to do next - I can't go back to my old life and I don't know what my new life will look like.  She did a visualisation with me, and asked me to imagine starting a new journey, getting out of a boat and what would be there.  Well I couldn't even leave the beach!  I drew a picture of it - I had a child with me - my fear.  Here was the adult me pushing on and the child me having fear and apprehension.  If you look at the child she is resistant, there is no way - the body is twisted in the other direction.  We often push on in life without addressing our fears.

I had an idea or a vision that I can put up 50 pictures with the words and sentiments that they portray.  For me, my art is a placeholder for emotions and where I am in my life.

# 1 Bliss/Contentment
I did this painting as part of an Internet course call BIG for Fearless painters. It was of a memory of when my friend, Barbara and I took home our recorders in grade 4.  She came over to my house and we played random tweeting for an hour.  Barb died when she was 30.  She is often on my mind - she did not have an easy time growing up and later got sick.  I don't know if she ever had bliss or contentment in her life.  I sure she had moments she had a great laugh- giggle that never ended.

When I painted this girl, her arms were not able to play the recorder, instead she hugged herself! She can love herself and play her own horn.  This is something that women or myself have a hard time doing.  I am confident in myself now.  I love myself, I am content - even blissful.  She has her eyes closed and enjoying the present moment - that is what I do - I am blessed